さなぎの様に柔らかな僕は壊れやすくて

I would write a really long entry about the awesomeness of DEG... but now I'm sick. Fever, sore throat, runny nose, achy, etc. And I hate the uselessness of the health center and how I'm treated like a dumb freshman every time I go in there. At least it's free...

I'm tearing my hair out cuz for some reason I'm missing the shokubeni mp3... and I reeeeeally wanna listen to that song now!!! My Vulgar CD is at home or else I'd rip it again...

Could one of my faaaavorite friends here upload it for me? Pleeeease?

They played akuro no oka... and then went right into the final... with new phrasing for the beginning guitar...

BEST ENCORE EVER!!

kyo was just *perfect* and everyone was so happy to be there. just... buh... i will write more coherently on this whole week after friday's show...

I have to make a happy post... cuz I never win raffles!!! Never ever ever. In 5th grade I bought $10 worth of raffle tickets for some stupid thing at school and didn't fucking win. I guess I was saving up 'luck' for now??

http://www.thedivareview.com/and_Nonsense_contests.htm

But I haven't gotten a confirmation email yet... so part of me isn't allowing myself to celebrate until I know for sure. Also, if I freak out too much, I won't be able to say anything if we get a chance to ask questions or something. And I don't want to screw up that opportunity again...

A little sunshine in my otherwise gloomy life.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
hanenonaikotori goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Mad Hatter.
devilgoddess tricks you! You get a used tissue.
dt3r tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
hotarubi tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
jaaaaamas tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
jilena3 gives you 7 softly glowing watermelon-flavoured wafers.
khaoskinema304 gives you 1 milky white strawberry-flavoured gumdrops.
productcode gives you 18 brown blueberry-flavoured jawbreakers.
travel_chic tricks you! You lose 4 pieces of candy!
vivianwinters gives you 4 mauve grapefruit-flavoured gummy bats.
yami_lica tricks you! You lose 4 pieces of candy!
hanenonaikotori ends up with 22 pieces of candy, a used tissue, a 3.5-inch floppy disc, a scratched CD, and a toothbrush.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

and what is that, over the horizon? that minuscule glimmer? that tiny, tiny speck? could it be... some hope?

maybe maybe maybe next year can still go as planned. maybe maybe maybe this year will be ok. i have to play my cards right and bide my time, but maybe i will get to go home again!

but i've been jerked around already quite a bit, so i'm not letting myself get my hopes up entirely. i just need to start planning...

i will totally blather on about this semester in a non-angsty and non-vague post sometime... but i need to finish work for class tomorrow now...

soooo i've been drinking since 3 pm with fellow grad students and i'm feeling muuuuch better.

i'm sure i'll be upset in the morning again, but for right now, i'm glad to have connected with the other students again. it might be ok... maybe.

i don't care, eating drunk pizza yaaaay~

Dear straight men of the world,

"I'm flattered but not interested" means "I'm not interested." "I don't give my number to people I just met on the street" means "I don't give my number to people I just met on the street." And "I'm a lesbian" means "I'M A GOD DAMN FUCKING LESBIAN, LEAVE ME ALONE."

With all sincerity, me

Dear straight girls of the world,

Please stop using the "I'm a lesbian" excuse to men at bars. It makes it harder for us real lesbians.

With all sincerity, me

Dear guy who accosted me on the street today,

That was a fake name *and* a fake email address. I'm not even going to do you the courtesy of registering it. Don't you ever try to tell another lesbian that your penis will make her realize what's she been missing. Ever. kthnxbbye.

With all sincerity, me

p.s. I hope you get herpes from some homeless chick in the park.

Dear computer,

Stop fucking with me. It's not funny anymore.

With all sincerity, me

-last one edited out since it was written in sleepiness-induced angst, and since overall, i think i did well last night-

ahahahaha, back from otakon! there was lots of drama, both fake and real (luckily, the fake did not involve me, and the real drama was all resolved in a timely fashion).

making a new post cuz i actually gave my lj name to some people who i hope will find me~

yes yes yes, pictures of me in a froofy pink dress are coming... after i've slept in a real bed for a night!

New computer, awesome dinner, and hooka together. Great fun.

I am just putting up this post for myself to remind me of all the good stuff I've been doing lately. Making plans *on my own* that go well! (even the plans I made that didn't go well were good practice) I have awesome friends who invite me to go out with them too, and I've been having a lot of good experiences that leave me happy the next day.

So stop focusing on "what could have been" or what I might be "missing out on", when I'm having plenty of fun on my own!

You are not unwanted, so stfu already.

mmm, shiny new computer....

sooo, I am in desperate need of going to the hair salon. I can't deal with my hair in this state anymore. I am definitely getting it re-dyed red again, cuz it looks good on me and I like how it fades to a natural red that suits me. The problem is: hair style!

I had been growing out my hair and I knew when it got to this length I would start hating it. But now the motivation behind me starting to grow it out is gone (my then-girlfriend), so now I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to try out long hair again, but another part of me hates it and wants to take scissors to it right now.

So I want opinions! Keep growing it or cut is short like usual??? Either way, I also need style ideas. Even if I keep it long, I want to get a hair cut (I'm thinking layers, but is there anything more interesting to do?). Cutting it short, I am tired of the asymmetrical bob (plus, *everyone* has it now), so I want something new.

I've asked a couple ppl in person, so I currently have 2 votes for keeping it long and 2 votes for cutting it like usual. So I need more opinions! And no, I don't know how to make neat poll things, so leave comments, plz?

I def wanna make a hair appointment before animenext. Once I've got my hair done I can get my new piercing too (i've been waiting cuz i remembered how much of a bitch it is to get your hair done with a new cartillage piercing >_<).

So, another year of grad school down! It was better than the first, for sure. For some reason, I still don't feel so 'done' though... Maybe once I've officially handed in this paper and done some cleaning I'll feel better.

Also, getting another hole in my head. Always a good way to feel accomplished.

I have to make a 'to do' list for this summer, so I know what shit I need to get done... and hopefully get it done. y'know, like make better LJ posts and stuff...

ok, so it's just my google horoscope, but it's upsettingly accurate:

You are torn between wanting to get out and do something that takes you far away or staying at home and isolating yourself from the rest of the world. But neither of these extremes will work as you probably have your regular responsibilities to handle today. Others may not even realize your current dissatisfaction for you are masterful now at covering your unfulfilled desires with apparent busyness. Just don't be so clever that you also mislead yourself.



i do still need to get my papers done though...

Thank you, everyone, for making my 25th birthday an awesome one. Even people who couldn't come to my party, you are all super awesome.

There's a lot of stuff I've been thinking about lately. In the past few years, I have changed a lot (as anyone would), in both good and bad ways. I've grown a thicker skin, but I had to go through some crap to do that. Now I am far enough away from things to re-consider how much I need to protect certain parts of myself. Then there's that whole "wtf am i doing with my life???" question, but I assume that most 25 year olds live with that question floating around in their heads.

But I got to smile and laugh and realize how lucky I am in a lot of ways for the past 3 days on and around my actual birthday. I am really grateful for that. I need to focus on that kind of thing a lot more, methinks.

I need to make some kind of plan for what I am doing from here on out. Even if it doesn't come to fruition, at least I have something I'm working towards. I think that's something I need in my life. Even if it's just for me.

And thus ends the most introspective LJ post I have made in, like, forever.

and this is a cry for attention ^_^

also... I totally forgot to post this here, too! Cuz some of you aren't on facebook ^_^v

I am having a birthday get-together on Saturday (tomorrow) at Dave & Buster's in Time Square. 8 o'clock. Come whenever you like. Info, copied and pasted under the cut!

( yaaaaaay )

and it is of me being a camwhore. but i do that when i get new hair ^_^

( i feel prettyyyy )

apparently, the fact that young women put on their make up while riding the train causes husbands to beat their wives and parents to neglect their children. only in japan.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/3628220/Japanese-commuters-told-to-be-courteous-as-standards-fall.html

i really should be working and not read fark.com....

because all you other bitches did it... i gotta say...

last night's show was aaawesome! i have started a new trend of hanging out in the back (except we were on the balcony, which was even more epic). the pianist of the opening band even stopped us on our way out to compliment our rocking-out prowess.

MUCC definitely took notice too. i think i freaked out tatsurou at the meet n' greet by asking him what he was trying to say on stage, lols. those boys are adorable.

libra as the last song was amazing, soooo happy.

and i ran into katie on the way to the show! skinny bitch jesus meeting has a show on wednesday, who wants to go???

but before that, i gotta READ A BOOK READ A BOOK, READING A MOTHER FUCKING BOOK!

edit: also, the guy giving out the over-21 wrist bands almost wouldn't take my ID because "it really didn't look like me". seriously, wtf? why would i bother with a fake ID at a concert anyway, first off? second, i had make up on and was dressed for a concert, of course i look different! i told him "well, that was me when i was 16" and i think he realized that i wasn't trying to fake it so he gave me a wrist band. i didn't even end up drinking, but it was annoying. i haven't bothered getting a new pic on my drivers license cuz you have to pay (and it's a bitch) but if this keeps happening i might have to do it...
i know i've been bitching about turning 25, but i *am* turning 25 and ppl need to stop mistaking me for being between the ages of 15 and 18. seriously.

cuz farron tags me for this every year ^_^

this year, i've made a list of various media items that i want and am leaving it up here for future reference. i'll add to the list as i remember stuff that i want...

( greedy! i mean... christmas cheer! )

so, i just posted this over on trashy_eats, but i thought i'd put it in my own journal too...

i fell in love with the beer bread recipe someone posted here a while back... i don't even like beer, but one of my friends left a bottle of it in my fridge one weekend and i thought "beer bread might be ok..." and now it's my (and everyone i make it for's) favorite thing to make!

but then i observed a most interesting phenomenon... before i could even take a knife to the bread to cut it up, my friends would descend and om-nom the hell out of it! but they would always leave a little bit of the gooey center... it seems that the crust is the best part of beer bread!

while i was trying to figure out how to best increase the amount of surface area for crust-ing, i left my loaf pan at a friend's house (making beer bread for them!) and acquired two mini-muffin pans. it was like a sign from the gods! so, tonight, i finally did an experiment...

( was it a success? )